Ask Abi – I Cheated On My Boyfriend

Sometimes people ask me for advice. My advice is to not ask me at all but to seek professional assistance. Sometimes the people asking won’t go away. “Tell me what you think,” they say.

“You do realise I’m an erotic writer?” I ask. “I’m not a therapist.”

“I know that, Abi, but I still want to hear your opinion.” I roll my eyes, knowing that they won’t leave me alone until I tell them what I think. The thing is, what an erotic writer thinks about most of all is sex. Lots of sex. My brain is hardwired into getting characters to have lots of hot, satisfying sex.

“I like the sound of that, they say.”

“Fuckwits,” I mutter. “Go on then, what’s the problem?”


Last weekend, I was at a party and I hooked up with my best friend’s boyfriend, Rob. We did everything but. My own boyfriend was working and my best friend was at the party but had passed out. I don’t know how it happened because I am so, so in love and I never cheat, like ever! I’m scared that Rob’s going to tell what happened which would ruin everything. Should I tell my boyfriend and my best friend what happened before they find out?

Faye (not my real name)

Well ‘Faye’,

A professional advisor would make you feel bad; they’d say that cheating is wrong because it betrays the trust of the people you love.

Fuck that.

My advice is this – get in early, girlfriend. Give your boyfriend the best sex he’s ever had. If he wants you to act slutty (and let’s face it, most men wouldn’t complain if their woman was a little sluttier) do it and more. Do things that make his cock swell and his balls ache (you should empty his balls at every opportunity). Ask him about his fantasies and make them come true.

This lays a solid foundation in your relationship. If he does find out, he has to make a choice based on the fact that you are the hottest, dirtiest woman he’s ever likely to get his hands on. He may well forgive you. If he does confront you, you can say things along the lines of, “You know what I’m like…” and then try to negotiate a relationship with a policy of you being allowed to have the occasional ‘Side-Dish’ where you get to fuck other people.

To help achieve this goal, you could perhaps hint that you’ve had your eye on one of your hot female friends and the only reason you haven’t had sex with her is that you know you’d feel ‘so guilty’ afterwards. If he doesn’t start with the whole ‘There’s no need to feel guilty’ line straight away, you could try torturing him with a dirty Sapphic scenario or say that since you’re sure she’s straight, you might need his help to get a taste of her twat. He’ll soon forget about your minor transgression when he’s balls-deep in your pussy while watching you tongue-fuck another girl.

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